She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
