i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
