After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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