ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
