Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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