I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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