i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
