If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
