i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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