I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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