The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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