He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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