dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
