But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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