We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
They are going to name an STD after you.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
