well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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