She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
