dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
