hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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