that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
