If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
