When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Randomize
