i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
