at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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