I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
