I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
