It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You smell like stripper and shame
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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