Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
