the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
