just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
