It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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