Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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