Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
