i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
