Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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