Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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