I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
