found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
