i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
