I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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