need another drink. this is the easiest way
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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