At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
