you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
