we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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