This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
