cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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