His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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