I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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