and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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