When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
