So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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