I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
