You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
